Elvis & Wisdom
Sometimes, when I'm feeling bored in shul I flip to the back of the book, and read Pirkei Avot. There's a particular passage, in the fifth chapter, that I often find myself turning to, especially in weeks that I'm feeling old. Like this week. Because this year, and this week's Torah portion Miketz, marks 25 years since my Bar Mitzvah on December 19, 1998.
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It’s been 25 years since my bar mitzvah. December 19, 1998, my 13th birthday to the day. And yeah, that makes me 38 this year. But I dare you to call me an old man. Sometimes, when I’m bored in services, I flip to the back of the book. The siddur that my synagogue uses includes Pirkei Avot, a supplement for Saturday afternoons, or for when folks get bored in shul. And there’s a passage from Pirkei Avot that I turn to, whenever I’m feeling old.
Judah ben Tema said: At five years of age the study of Scripture; At ten the study of Mishnah; At thirteen subject to the commandments; At fifteen the study of Talmud; At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit [of livelihood]; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age; At seventy fullness of years; At eighty the age of “strength”; At ninety a bent body; At one hundred, as good as dead and gone completely out of the world.
While I didn’t make to it the bridal canopy by 18, that was definitely for the best. And I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t yet reached the age of wisdom. But I am past my peak of strength. And boy do I feel that.
This week’s Torah portion, Miketz, holds a special place in my heart, and not just because it was my Torah portion. It’s because of Elvis. I’m bringing up Elvis, in case you’re not aware, because I’m a massive Andrew Lloyd Webber fan. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is one of my favorite shows, and the role of Pharaoh, drawn from this weeks Torah portion, is played by an Elvis impersonator.
I still remember sitting on the floor of my bedroom closet listening to an Elvis greatest hits CD that someone had bought me. It’s a memory that always makes me feel 7 years old again. May the King reign forever and ever. Elvis blended so many genres of music—Country, Rock, Blues, Gospel. For sure he sang as strong as a lion, sway as swift as an eagle, and danced as fleet as a gazelle.
I obviously never saw him live, but Elvis was a mesmerizing performer. Maybe that’s why Andrew Lloyd Webber picked him to play the overly dramatic Egyptian pharaoh. But Pharaoh isn’t the only dramatist in this weeks Torah portion. Mostly, that role is reserved for Joseph, who proceeds to spin a web of wonder and doom awaiting the Egyptian people, based on a few stalks of corn and a few gaunt cows. The parsha even ends on a cliffhanger, with Joseph accusing his younger brother Benjamin of theft, and threatening to hold him hostage as a slave.
Genesis 44:1
Then Joseph instructed his house steward as follows, “Fill the men’s bags with food, as much as they can carry, and put each one’s money in the mouth of his bag. Put my silver goblet in the mouth of the bag of the youngest one, together with his money for the rations.” And he did as Joseph told him.
With the first light of morning, the men were sent off with their pack animals. They had just left the city and had not gone far, when Joseph said to his house steward, “Up, go after those men! And when you overtake them, say to them, ‘Why did you repay good with evil? It is the very one from which my master drinks and which he uses for divination. It was a wicked thing for you to do!’”
He overtook them and spoke those words to them. And they said to him, “Why does my lord say such things? Far be it from your servants to do anything of the kind! Here we brought back to you from the land of Canaan the money that we found in the mouths of our bags. How then could we have stolen any silver or gold from your master’s house!
Whichever of your servants it is found with shall die; the rest of us, moreover, shall become slaves to my lord.”
He replied, “Although what you are proposing is right, only the one with whom it is found shall be my slave; but the rest of you shall go free.”
So each one hastened to lower his bag to the ground, and each one opened his bag. He searched, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest; and the goblet turned up in Benjamin’s bag. At this they rent their clothes. Each reloaded his pack animal, and they returned to the city.
When Judah and his brothers reentered the house of Joseph, who was still there, they threw themselves on the ground before him. Joseph said to them, “What is this deed that you have done? Do you not know that a man like me practices divination?”
Judah replied, “What can we say to my lord? How can we plead, how can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered the crime of your servants. Here we are, then, slaves of my lord, the rest of us as much as he in whose possession the goblet was found.”
But he replied, “Far be it from me to act thus! Only the one in whose possession the goblet was found shall be my slave; the rest of you go back in peace to your father.”
Elvis had a complicated relationship with life. His music is divine, but his life sure didn’t seem that way. If you’ve seen the Elvis biopic, released a few years ago, then you know what I mean. If you haven’t, well you should watch it. It makes me wonder just how much Elvis was set up to fail by those around him, not unlike how Joseph manipulates Benjamin, and his other brothers, and you might even argue Pharaoh himself. Joseph’s a bit manipulative after all.
As for me? I’ve got two years left until the age of wisdom. Two more years to re-read my Torah portion, and plenty of time to re-watch Donny Osmond play Joseph in the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Plenty of dreams left to dream. After all, to quote Pirkei Avot once more:
Ben Bag Bag said: Turn it over, and [again] turn it over, for all is therein. And look into it; And become gray and old therein; And do not move away from it, for you have no better portion than it.
Shabbat shalom.
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